A year ago, a reddit user took a screen shot of an excel spreadsheet her husband had sent her of all the times she denied/turned him down for sex as she was leaving on a 10-day work trip.
Redditor throwwwwaway29 stated: My husband [M26] sent me [F26] an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact.
Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.
Here is the infamous screen shot of the spreadsheet before she archived the image.
When I first read the article the writer blamed the husband for being childish and I was kind of taken back by that. Why is it always the guy being an asshole, asking and begging for sex?
Shouldn’t the wife take some blame for it too?
Obviously the husband is sexually frustrated because his wife isn’t giving him any. I can speak for myself and for most men, sex is crucial to a relationship and then women wonder why some men cheat.
In my previous relationship, I ONLY withheld sex because I knew my partner was cheating. It wasn’t a power trip, it was an I-don’t-want-to-catch-anything-so-don’t-touch-me kind of thing. But as a good lil gay bottom that I was, I did everything in my power to make my spouse happy- sexually.
It was wrong for me to withhold sex but after many attempts of trying my best to work on our broken relationship, my heart wasn’t in it anymore and when it comes to sex, especially with someone I’m in a relationship with, my heart has to be in it. Luckily, we broke up and now I get and have all the sex I want with whomever I want.
Now back to the story, I know my fair share of women and men who I’ve met and are in a sexless relationship, why are you still in it or why are you not giving it up to your spouse?
If you’re in a relationship, don’t you want all of it not just some of it? Meaning, besides the emotional connection, a man also needs a physical connection because that often is their “emotional connection” to a woman.
Why this woman chose not to engage in sex with her husband is another story but from her responses which her husband logged it looks like she checked out long ago.
Do I feel sorry for the woman? Frankly, I don’t. There has to be more to this story that we don’t know but like I said, withholding sex from your partner just makes it worse and he probably cheated on her.
Unless, she was in my position, then keep withholding and leave him girl. I feel though, it comes to a point where women just stop giving in and don’t feel the need to feed their husband or boyfriend’s sexual desires and I can say, that is selfish.